Manheim Central Suffers A Loss: My Thoughts on It.

WARNING: The statements on this blog are the opinions of Miss Mimmee Shindo and only her.. Don’t
take any of my words personally. Please, don’t be offended by this. As always,
I want to try to keep every post drama free. I’m sharing my thoughts and
observations on this touchy subject.

 

I think that almost everyone in Pennsylvania has heard about the accident. This weekend 4 kids from my high
school died in a car crash. Seeing how it’s only months after we lost another
student from a car accident. I won’t go into detail about the accident, so here
is a link right here. http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/01/4_manheim_central_students_kil.html
there is a lot of useful information on this site. Make sure to read the
comments too. Manheim suffered a great loss, and FaceBook is BLOWING up with
posts, pictures, and other things related to the 4 boys who are no longer with
us. May they rest in peace, and may the families stay strong.

Now here comes my thoughts. I am not talking about how I feel about the deceased boys, because everything I
know is just rumors and until they tell us what really happened I am left in
the dark. Maybe when the cops look through the boys cell phones they’ll know
what happened. The thing that bothers me about all this is how some people are
dealing with it. Whenever someone dies in a school, that’s when tons of people
start acting fake to be accepted in society. People who don’t even care and
have been known to dislike some or all of these boys and constantly talked bad
on them while they are alive are posting things on FaceBook about how
“close” they were and how “important” they were to them. With my experience of
kids in my schools dying, and my own Grandma’s funeral, I know how people can
be. You would not believe how many people cry and don’t really feel upset about
the accident. Truthfully, I have not cried about the accident one time. I
haven’t posted anything on FaceBook or Twitter. You know why? I never knew
these boys. I was never friends with them, and only ever saw them in the
hallways. I agree that it is a loss and that people have the right to be upset,
but I am not personally affected by this incident. I know that sounds
horrible, but that’s my feelings. If people want to say things about me because
of this, they can go right on ahead and talk because I haven’t done anything
wrong.

Another thing that seriously bothers me about this is that they might be postponing our finals. Better yet,
they said that finals are OPTIONAL. In
all my years of school, the only time I ever missed a test was that I
was out sick, or when my Grandma died. It makes sense for the family
and friends to miss their final tests, but the entire school? Telling
kids a final is optional is like saying there is no final. Sometimes
schools don’t think. My school is also providing counseling in our
library, complete with dogs. We’re allowed to go down there
anytime we want to and stay there as long as we want. Not to sound rude,
but I really doubt most of the kids in my school are that shaken
up that they can’t take a final or stay in class. The family
and friends makes sense..but say if I missed my final, it wouldn’t.
In my Computer Class, that I am typing this post in right  now, my teacher
started out the class crying and telling us all about it. In the middle of my
teacher talking about it, a girl raised her hand and said “So, are we doing the
finals?” the teacher told her about how it is optional and she replied “So
we don’t have to do them?” All I have to say.. FAKE.. Right now the same
girl is playing computer games while everyone else is making cards, or expressing
their grief. I just can’t believe that someone could be so fake.

Death is never an easy thing to get over. I understand this better than most people my age. Seeing someone die
really changes how you think about death. I saw my grandma pass away on January
6, 2008. I still get really emotional when I talk about it. My mind is slowly
wiping that picture away. I don’t go to school sometimes on that day, and I
usually go to the cemetery and leave flowers behind. I can go to school on her
birthday, February 22, but I still leave flowers on that day. I guess what I am
trying to say is that mourning the loss of a loved one can last a long time.
This year I was out of school on my Grandma’s death day. Guess what. I still
made up the three tests that I had missed. Death doesn’t mean you can neglect
school. This morning me and my mom were talking about the incident, and we
agreed that the school shouldn’t let kids just miss things like this. We’re not
teaching good habits by just letting it slide like that. In our high school
years, school is more and more important with each year. You can’t slack off in
Freshman year or you will continue along the same path in all other years.

Back when I was in 6th grade, 3 school years ago, a girl a grade below me passed away due to Influenza B. I
don’t know if anyone remembers Olivia McCrery.. Here’s a page that might help
you remember. She died the same year my Grandma did  http://www.snyderfuneralhome.com/OBITUARIES/2008%20Services/McCrery,%20Olivia%20Condolences.htm
My school grieved. That much is obvious. We held a day where we all wore her
favorite color, green, and took a huuuge picture of all the school like
this. At the end of the year assembly, we sang a song in her honor and talked
about her, giving some things like flowers to her family. We also sang for
another girl named Michaela Meese (I believe I spelled her name wrong). She had
died a few years before from cancer and was also in the Class of 2014. It
brought back feelings in the school that were long forgotten. I wasn’t yet at
that school when Michaela died, yet I understand what it is like to lose a kid
in my school. But you know what both these girl’s deaths had in common? We
still had school as normal. Our lessons were not forgotten, we still took
tests. We did have a counselor, but it was only for her friends. They would
check in with some of the kids and make sure they were alright before moving on
and helping those who need it. If we continued our work in Elementary School,
surely a High School Student can too..  Death is much harder for a 5th, or
6th grader to understand. Maybe it’s just Manheim.. They aren’t used to it. At
other schools around here, kids get shot, killed, raped, and mugged. Can you
imagine how much work we’d miss if that happened around here?

My opinions and statements may be
harsh, but it’s always good to let opinions out.

Love,

TheMissMimsi

Rest In Peace

• DeVaughn Lee
• John Griffith
• Nick Bryson
• Cody Hollinger

Sorry Guys… >.< Don’t hurt me.

I haven’t been a good poster lately.. I’m sorry guys…. I’ve had a  lot going
on right now, and my stupid teachers have actually been asking me to do stuff
instead of just sitting around and doing nothing. Just to make you guys think I
actually have done a lot instead of just ignoring my lovely little readers,
I’ll post the pictures that I’ve been working on, that have commanded my
attention.

By the way, my personal life is
going great. My girlfriend is amazing, my mom and Melissa are treating me
well, my friends aren’t fighting as much, and I’m not as stressed or depressed.
I don’t know if I have told you guys yet, but the bad news is that my
mom’s girlfriend’s dog, Lady, passed away on January 4, 2011. It all happened
so fast.. I had been asleep in my room and my mom woke me up, crying, and
basically freaking out.. I saw Melissa kneeling on the ground next to Lady,
crying. Lady was still alive, but not for much longer. My mom and Melissa took
her to the emergency vet and she was gone.. I miss her.. I mean, she always
laid on the rug to wait for me when I came home from school, or woke up, or
came home after being with friends. It was hard for all of us to walk in the
door over the week. Melissa burst into tears every time she saw the empty space
on the rug where 3 legged Lady used to lay.

So… here’s the pictures. The
model is my friend, and private independent model named Claudia. If she put
modeling forward, she’d have a promising career. She’s only 14 years old. My
notes are going to be ABOVE the pictures.

1. This is just one of her that I took before she actually started being
serious.

2. This one was taken when she was hiding behind my house, so that nobody
would think she was a creeper with a knife.

3. The blood in these pictures is supposed to be cheesy and fake, I’m using
these pictures for a CD cover that I am doing in Graphic Design.

4. I personally love this one.. she looks so pretty and innocent

5. This one I thought looked really cool, I’m making this one my cover, I
think.

6. This one was fun to do, I had to be reeeally specific in what I told her
to do. She didn’t really get it.

7. I LOVE this one so much… It’s fantastic.

8. This one is cool. I like it, but I don’t think I am gonna use it.

9. This one is fantabulous… I am probably using it somewhere.

10. Okay, this one is one of my top favorites.. It looks so deranged yet
cool.. I am probably going to use this. I think she’ll either love it or hate
it when she sees it.

Okay, so there we go. Please
guys, give me feedback on the ones you like. I’ll try to post more regularly,
maybe I’ll even haul out my DSi and make entries on that.

Also, I might be starting
something I call “The Weekly Rant” which will be a long post about the things
that bother me. Should I do this?

Love,

TheMissMimsi

Why????!!

So… I didn’t want to post today,
but I feel like I kind of have to… You know my friend, Michael that I was
talking about in a previous post? Well, I have some very upsetting news.

Yesterday he went to his doctor
to get his diabetes testing and they found something else. I don’t know all the
medical specifics, but one of his levels in something was really low, pointing
to a brain tumor… I was in the car with my mom and her girlfriend on the way to
Taco Bell when I read this, so I had to try SO hard not to break down crying
and freaking out. As many of my friends know, on January 6, 2008 my grandma
died from a tumor in her uterus. What a lot of people don’t know is that I was
in the hospital room when she passed away. I saw her die. You can imagine the
grief I felt when this happened. It sent me on a downward spiral to make me the
person I am today. (That’s not a good thing) The last thing I want to hear from
someone I love is that they might have a brain tumor. My Grandma said she would
be okay. She promised us all that she would be fine and that she would make it
out… It was too late though…  It spread too much already.There is a lot
that surrounds the time of my Grandma’s death, involving my parents, my eating
disorders, and my desire to do harm to myself. Every time I think about my
Grandma too much, I break down crying and sobbing and shaking. Every holiday
season is pretty much ruined because of that.. the last time I had seen my
Grandma healthy was Thanksgiving 2007. So now Thanksgiving is a traumatic event
too.

Some people have to go on
medication for this. And yes, after this happened I was in fact diagnosed with
depression. I don’t agree with medications, seeing as how I have so many family
members that got seriously messed up by taking prescribed medication at the
suggested dose. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be dependent on a
substance just to act like the American norm of happy and ignorant. That’s just
my opinion.

I know for a fact that saying
this is just going to make me look like an uncaring and selfish bitch, but why
does it seem like everything bad happens to me? Why do I have to suffer every
day? Why do I have to see and hear things that children shouldn’t have to? Why
do I have to cry myself to sleep almost every night? Judge me all you want on
that. I just don’t want to lose someone else that I love. I’m still not over my
Grandma’s death, how do you expect me to deal with it if something happens to
Michael?? I guess I realize from all this happening just how much I love, and
need Michael in my life. Sure, me and him aren’t in a relationship, but I don’t
know how I would be able to go on if he didn’t. He’s like…a part of me now.
That sounds weird… I know, it does. But at this point I don’t really care.

Last night, he begged me not to
cry, and told me he was gonna be fine. I told him that I had heard that before,
and the whole thing sent me into tears again. I cried myself to sleep last night,
and woke up with my face looking like the BP Oil Spill because of the makeup I
had not bothered to take off. When I got on the bus I texted Michael,
asking him how he was feeling and he said he wasn’t sure. Then he
said that I shouldn’t be afraid and that he should. He also made it a
little worse by saying that he keeps thinking that the worst possible thing is
going to happen. I tried not to cry on the bus by playing some upbeat
happy music, yet I cracked when I walked into the school building and my friend
was there to greet me. I showed her the text saying what might
be wrong with him, and she stared, wide eyed and in shock. I
immediately fell apart. At least they were all there to comfort me and just let
me cry for a little bit.

Something that honestly makes me
a little mad is how he keeps telling me not to worry, and that it will all be
okay. We don’t know what is going to happen. He doesn’t know what the outcome
will me. Even if we pray, beg, or something like that, sometimes it just
doesn’t turn out the way we want. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should stop
worrying. I mean, in the wise words of my friend, he needs me more than ever.
If I can’t stay strong, how can he?

Michael’s a strong person. I’m
sure he can overcome this. All I can do is stay hopeful and be there for him
when he needs me.

Love,

TheMissMimsi