FAKE!

This is Mimmee Shindo. The REAL one. Whatever is being posted on any other site is NOT me. Don’t read it.

Love,

TheMissMimsi

Relationship Drama of The Past 2 Months

My life has actually been doing pretty
good lately. Things are starting to look up for me.

I haven’t been posting about
myself much lately simply because I haven’t had the time. And well.. my life
was pretty boring.

I broke up with that Emilee girl
and started dating Michael (not the one I mentioned before). I dumped her
because apparently she was just using me for her own sexual fulfillment. She
even told me herself that she was only with me at first because she wanted to
use me as a one night stand but then “fell in love with me” more like.. “fell
in love with my body” She took me to her school dance, only to ignore me the
entire time. That brings me to how I got with Michael. I had been talking to
him for the past month or two and thought he was absolutely amazing. There was
just SOMETHING about him that I liked. A lot. When I went to Emilee’s dance, I
begged Michael to go because I wanted to meet him in person. While Emilee was
ignoring me because she was too ashamed, I was talking to Michael. Emilee then
complained which then started a little argument in the hallway. She hated how
he was “all over” me (He only hugged me once) and how I kept supposedly hitting
on him..well.. I don’t THINK I was hitting on him.. I hope I really wasn’t. At
that time I was fed up with Emilee. She didn’t care. She never did. Plus, I
came to the realization that I felt like me and her were just friends. I didn’t
feel like I was in a relationship with her. So, I listened to my heart and
decided to leave her. On Valentine’s Day. Hey, I was her sexpal.
Best decision I ever made. I told Michael how I felt, and I lucked out.
He felt the same. We soon began dating and I just.. I don’t know.. He’s
amazing. Everything about him seems like it was made just for me. He gives me
butterflies that no one else ever did. He makes me feel special. I reeeeally
care about him. Our one month was Monday. I know that isn’t long, but me and
Emilee lasted a month and a half.

The only issue about dumping her
was that she started spreading STD rumors about me while still trying to get me
back. She must think I’m stupid. Her and Michael aren’t friends anymore, and I
feel bad.. I mean, I’m usually the type of person that will sacrifice my own
happiness for someone else. This time, I’m standing up for myself.

Me and dad still aren’t talking.
I e-mailed him the other day. I sent him a project I made in German.

My mom and I are on good terms.
Things are okay with Melissa.

Me and Nick are fighting again.

I’m back in counseling.

I’m in a band (The Dead of
Antietam)

Me and Michael Barron are still
close friends.

I’m rethinking who I choose as
friends.. -_-’

Otep is releasing a new album.
4/26/11

Basically, everything’s going
great in my life. I’m GENUINELY happy.

<3333

MissMimsi

Okay..issues here.

I’m starting to get irrtated with
this here blog. It’s not the posting or the constant emails that bother me.
It’s the people viewing my blog that bother me.

1. If you don’t like it, get out.

If you don’t like the content I
post on my blog, provide a logical reason for it. Not one phrasers like “You
suck”, “You’re a loser”, and “Get a life” I haven’t made WordPress my life. In
fact, my posts have gotten much less frequent due to school and just general
business. Hey, I’m in the 3rd marking period of school now. Point is, nobody is
strapping you down and forcing you to read my blog. If you don’t like it, don’t
read it. If you don’t like a few of my posts, there is really no reason for you
to stay and read more. Chances are you won’t like it. I consider one phrasers
trolling. I also consider long paragraphs telling me how horrible I am under
the same category. There really is no reason for that. Especially since most of
these hate comments aren’t even on any of my rants. They show up on my posts,
“Letters from the Lonely Blogger” and “Hey guys!” a lot. If you really must
make fun of me over a blog, than you’re the one who needs to get a life. My
blog is my opinion. I’m not saying I’m always 100% right. I’m still figuring
the world out. I’m freaking 15, for god’s sake. Find somewhere else to flame,
better yet..look up a topic you WANT to read about.

2. Sexual stuff

I looked in my search engine
terms, and most of them that show up are gross. Such as, “mom and dad teaching
teenage girl to ****” In addition, if you google “MissMimsi”, a bunch of
teen porn pops up. My  blog should not be associated with this content.
It’s disgusting and foul. I have posts AGAINST that kind of thing. Just read my
posts about “Teen Sexuality” and “Teen Pregnancy”

Please stop this type of behavior
now.

MissMimsi

Hey guys!!!

Hello my fellow wordpressians!!
I’ve decided to start posting on fellow blogging site, Blogger. I will still be
posting here, but not quite as often. If you still want to be up-to-date on
TheMissMimsi, go to my blogger site. The name is still TheMissMimsi, and you’ll
find that the only difference really is where I’m posting. Like I said, I will
still be WordPressing, but I just found that Blogger is more popular and
therefore, I can get my opinions noticed more. Shallow, I know.. But I just want
to inform people of what I think. I love you all.

 

TheMissMimsi

 

By the way, if my wordpress views don’t start increasing, but my Blogger
is exploding, I’ll be forced to choose one or the other. I’m sorry

Manheim Central Suffers A Loss: My Thoughts on It.

WARNING: The statements on this blog are the opinions of Miss Mimmee Shindo and only her.. Don’t
take any of my words personally. Please, don’t be offended by this. As always,
I want to try to keep every post drama free. I’m sharing my thoughts and
observations on this touchy subject.

 

I think that almost everyone in Pennsylvania has heard about the accident. This weekend 4 kids from my high
school died in a car crash. Seeing how it’s only months after we lost another
student from a car accident. I won’t go into detail about the accident, so here
is a link right here. http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/01/4_manheim_central_students_kil.html
there is a lot of useful information on this site. Make sure to read the
comments too. Manheim suffered a great loss, and FaceBook is BLOWING up with
posts, pictures, and other things related to the 4 boys who are no longer with
us. May they rest in peace, and may the families stay strong.

Now here comes my thoughts. I am not talking about how I feel about the deceased boys, because everything I
know is just rumors and until they tell us what really happened I am left in
the dark. Maybe when the cops look through the boys cell phones they’ll know
what happened. The thing that bothers me about all this is how some people are
dealing with it. Whenever someone dies in a school, that’s when tons of people
start acting fake to be accepted in society. People who don’t even care and
have been known to dislike some or all of these boys and constantly talked bad
on them while they are alive are posting things on FaceBook about how
“close” they were and how “important” they were to them. With my experience of
kids in my schools dying, and my own Grandma’s funeral, I know how people can
be. You would not believe how many people cry and don’t really feel upset about
the accident. Truthfully, I have not cried about the accident one time. I
haven’t posted anything on FaceBook or Twitter. You know why? I never knew
these boys. I was never friends with them, and only ever saw them in the
hallways. I agree that it is a loss and that people have the right to be upset,
but I am not personally affected by this incident. I know that sounds
horrible, but that’s my feelings. If people want to say things about me because
of this, they can go right on ahead and talk because I haven’t done anything
wrong.

Another thing that seriously bothers me about this is that they might be postponing our finals. Better yet,
they said that finals are OPTIONAL. In
all my years of school, the only time I ever missed a test was that I
was out sick, or when my Grandma died. It makes sense for the family
and friends to miss their final tests, but the entire school? Telling
kids a final is optional is like saying there is no final. Sometimes
schools don’t think. My school is also providing counseling in our
library, complete with dogs. We’re allowed to go down there
anytime we want to and stay there as long as we want. Not to sound rude,
but I really doubt most of the kids in my school are that shaken
up that they can’t take a final or stay in class. The family
and friends makes sense..but say if I missed my final, it wouldn’t.
In my Computer Class, that I am typing this post in right  now, my teacher
started out the class crying and telling us all about it. In the middle of my
teacher talking about it, a girl raised her hand and said “So, are we doing the
finals?” the teacher told her about how it is optional and she replied “So
we don’t have to do them?” All I have to say.. FAKE.. Right now the same
girl is playing computer games while everyone else is making cards, or expressing
their grief. I just can’t believe that someone could be so fake.

Death is never an easy thing to get over. I understand this better than most people my age. Seeing someone die
really changes how you think about death. I saw my grandma pass away on January
6, 2008. I still get really emotional when I talk about it. My mind is slowly
wiping that picture away. I don’t go to school sometimes on that day, and I
usually go to the cemetery and leave flowers behind. I can go to school on her
birthday, February 22, but I still leave flowers on that day. I guess what I am
trying to say is that mourning the loss of a loved one can last a long time.
This year I was out of school on my Grandma’s death day. Guess what. I still
made up the three tests that I had missed. Death doesn’t mean you can neglect
school. This morning me and my mom were talking about the incident, and we
agreed that the school shouldn’t let kids just miss things like this. We’re not
teaching good habits by just letting it slide like that. In our high school
years, school is more and more important with each year. You can’t slack off in
Freshman year or you will continue along the same path in all other years.

Back when I was in 6th grade, 3 school years ago, a girl a grade below me passed away due to Influenza B. I
don’t know if anyone remembers Olivia McCrery.. Here’s a page that might help
you remember. She died the same year my Grandma did  http://www.snyderfuneralhome.com/OBITUARIES/2008%20Services/McCrery,%20Olivia%20Condolences.htm
My school grieved. That much is obvious. We held a day where we all wore her
favorite color, green, and took a huuuge picture of all the school like
this. At the end of the year assembly, we sang a song in her honor and talked
about her, giving some things like flowers to her family. We also sang for
another girl named Michaela Meese (I believe I spelled her name wrong). She had
died a few years before from cancer and was also in the Class of 2014. It
brought back feelings in the school that were long forgotten. I wasn’t yet at
that school when Michaela died, yet I understand what it is like to lose a kid
in my school. But you know what both these girl’s deaths had in common? We
still had school as normal. Our lessons were not forgotten, we still took
tests. We did have a counselor, but it was only for her friends. They would
check in with some of the kids and make sure they were alright before moving on
and helping those who need it. If we continued our work in Elementary School,
surely a High School Student can too..  Death is much harder for a 5th, or
6th grader to understand. Maybe it’s just Manheim.. They aren’t used to it. At
other schools around here, kids get shot, killed, raped, and mugged. Can you
imagine how much work we’d miss if that happened around here?

My opinions and statements may be
harsh, but it’s always good to let opinions out.

Love,

TheMissMimsi

Rest In Peace

• DeVaughn Lee
• John Griffith
• Nick Bryson
• Cody Hollinger

Sorry Guys… >.< Don’t hurt me.

I haven’t been a good poster lately.. I’m sorry guys…. I’ve had a  lot going
on right now, and my stupid teachers have actually been asking me to do stuff
instead of just sitting around and doing nothing. Just to make you guys think I
actually have done a lot instead of just ignoring my lovely little readers,
I’ll post the pictures that I’ve been working on, that have commanded my
attention.

By the way, my personal life is
going great. My girlfriend is amazing, my mom and Melissa are treating me
well, my friends aren’t fighting as much, and I’m not as stressed or depressed.
I don’t know if I have told you guys yet, but the bad news is that my
mom’s girlfriend’s dog, Lady, passed away on January 4, 2011. It all happened
so fast.. I had been asleep in my room and my mom woke me up, crying, and
basically freaking out.. I saw Melissa kneeling on the ground next to Lady,
crying. Lady was still alive, but not for much longer. My mom and Melissa took
her to the emergency vet and she was gone.. I miss her.. I mean, she always
laid on the rug to wait for me when I came home from school, or woke up, or
came home after being with friends. It was hard for all of us to walk in the
door over the week. Melissa burst into tears every time she saw the empty space
on the rug where 3 legged Lady used to lay.

So… here’s the pictures. The
model is my friend, and private independent model named Claudia. If she put
modeling forward, she’d have a promising career. She’s only 14 years old. My
notes are going to be ABOVE the pictures.

1. This is just one of her that I took before she actually started being
serious.

2. This one was taken when she was hiding behind my house, so that nobody
would think she was a creeper with a knife.

3. The blood in these pictures is supposed to be cheesy and fake, I’m using
these pictures for a CD cover that I am doing in Graphic Design.

4. I personally love this one.. she looks so pretty and innocent

5. This one I thought looked really cool, I’m making this one my cover, I
think.

6. This one was fun to do, I had to be reeeally specific in what I told her
to do. She didn’t really get it.

7. I LOVE this one so much… It’s fantastic.

8. This one is cool. I like it, but I don’t think I am gonna use it.

9. This one is fantabulous… I am probably using it somewhere.

10. Okay, this one is one of my top favorites.. It looks so deranged yet
cool.. I am probably going to use this. I think she’ll either love it or hate
it when she sees it.

Okay, so there we go. Please
guys, give me feedback on the ones you like. I’ll try to post more regularly,
maybe I’ll even haul out my DSi and make entries on that.

Also, I might be starting
something I call “The Weekly Rant” which will be a long post about the things
that bother me. Should I do this?

Love,

TheMissMimsi

My Crazy Awesome Christmas Vacation

So… I know that I haven’t posted
anything since the last time I was in school.  Sorry. I was extremely busy
and had no access to a computer. I could get on my Nintendo DS and Nintendo
Wii’s internet, but there is no way that I was gonna type something out in
there. My mom’s laptop crashed and Melissa’s computer is off  limits.
Anyway, I should probably get to talking about my break.

First of all, on my first day of
vacation (Christmas Eve) my dad texted me and asked me if I wanted to go to
Maggie’s family’s Christmas Eve party. I cautiously said yes and got dressed up
reeeally freaking nice so that maybe he wouldn’t talk crap about me for once.
For once, everything went okay. Nothing bad happened. He even invited me to
come over on Christmas Day so that he could give me my presents and we
could go up and see my aunt Adria in the mental hospital. When I got home at
around 11:30 PM on Christmas Eve, my mom let me open my presents early. I’ll
make a list of what I got. Please, don’t think I’m spoiled.. DX

-Nintendo Dsi (games I got: Sims
3, Cooking Mama 2, Gardening Mama)

-Nintendo Wii (games I got:
Animal Crossing City Folk, Cooking Mama)

-The Mighty Boosh boxed set
(every episode plus lots of bonus features)

-Michael Jackson’s Vision (It has
every video he ever made in his solo career)

-The Rocky Horror Picture Show
(Anniversary 2 Disc Set)

-A Digital Camera

-Repo! The Genetic Opera
Soundtrack

-Michael Jackson T-Shirt

-Avenged Sevenfold Nightmare
Hoodie

-Shirt with a black cat face on
it

-Scarf knitted from my Grandma
Eileen

-Pajama sets. (cute mint plaid
shorts with a black shirt that I won’t wear)

-Sephora 2010 Blockbuster palette

-$50 Sephora Gift Card

-About $200 from other family
members

-Coca-Cola Lipsmackers (Coke,
Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke, Cherry Vanilla Coke, Barqs Root Beer, Sprite
flavors)

-Necklace and Earrings from a
friend

-Netflix subscription for my Wii
(AMAZING!!)

-Tons of packs of the Extra Mint
Chocolate Chip gum

– A girlfriend….

Yeah, about the last one.. I can
explain… >.<

Her name is Emilee. I met her
because my superdouche ex used to be friends with her. Me and her started
talking a lot and eventually decided to get together. After we messed around a
little… She came to my house last week and we kinda.. hit it off… The next
night Claudia came over, and then the next day I went to her house the day
before New Years Eve and then on New Years Eve. 3 sleepovers in one week.
Yeeaahh… Stuff kinda happened. We decided to be together because we both really
liked each other, and her parents were okay with me (usually her parents don’t
like her choices) . She’s a gorgeous girl.. She’s amazing. I just hope this one
works out better.

I spent a lot of my break with
Emilee, so that part we won’t talk about. We just went to a bunch of her family
gatherings. If I wasn’t with Emilee, I was with Claudia. If not either of them,
Michael or Cody. If neither of them, I just hung out at home. Not very
eventful.. Just spent time on my Wii or DS. The time away from school was
relaxing, and I appreciated it greatly.

I’ll be posting much more
regularly, so don’t worry. (My two readers)

Love,

TheMissMims

Letters from the lonely blogger..

I know this may seem shallow, but my blog is
feeling rather lonely  🙂  If you like something that I say,
pass it along to your friends. If you happen to find this blog somewhere,
spread the word!! I’ll be covering a variety of topics, so if you want to read
about something just comment on this and tell me.

I WILL DO THESE:

Movie, Music, Book, anything
reviews.

Makeup Tutorials.

Style Advice.

Rants about any given topic.

Info about me (if you wanna know
something, ask!)

Come to think of it… I can write
about ANYTHING!!

So please come and spend time on
this blog… It will love you. I will not disappoint my faithful readers! (I
think only two people read this…)

Love,

Why????!!

So… I didn’t want to post today,
but I feel like I kind of have to… You know my friend, Michael that I was
talking about in a previous post? Well, I have some very upsetting news.

Yesterday he went to his doctor
to get his diabetes testing and they found something else. I don’t know all the
medical specifics, but one of his levels in something was really low, pointing
to a brain tumor… I was in the car with my mom and her girlfriend on the way to
Taco Bell when I read this, so I had to try SO hard not to break down crying
and freaking out. As many of my friends know, on January 6, 2008 my grandma
died from a tumor in her uterus. What a lot of people don’t know is that I was
in the hospital room when she passed away. I saw her die. You can imagine the
grief I felt when this happened. It sent me on a downward spiral to make me the
person I am today. (That’s not a good thing) The last thing I want to hear from
someone I love is that they might have a brain tumor. My Grandma said she would
be okay. She promised us all that she would be fine and that she would make it
out… It was too late though…  It spread too much already.There is a lot
that surrounds the time of my Grandma’s death, involving my parents, my eating
disorders, and my desire to do harm to myself. Every time I think about my
Grandma too much, I break down crying and sobbing and shaking. Every holiday
season is pretty much ruined because of that.. the last time I had seen my
Grandma healthy was Thanksgiving 2007. So now Thanksgiving is a traumatic event
too.

Some people have to go on
medication for this. And yes, after this happened I was in fact diagnosed with
depression. I don’t agree with medications, seeing as how I have so many family
members that got seriously messed up by taking prescribed medication at the
suggested dose. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be dependent on a
substance just to act like the American norm of happy and ignorant. That’s just
my opinion.

I know for a fact that saying
this is just going to make me look like an uncaring and selfish bitch, but why
does it seem like everything bad happens to me? Why do I have to suffer every
day? Why do I have to see and hear things that children shouldn’t have to? Why
do I have to cry myself to sleep almost every night? Judge me all you want on
that. I just don’t want to lose someone else that I love. I’m still not over my
Grandma’s death, how do you expect me to deal with it if something happens to
Michael?? I guess I realize from all this happening just how much I love, and
need Michael in my life. Sure, me and him aren’t in a relationship, but I don’t
know how I would be able to go on if he didn’t. He’s like…a part of me now.
That sounds weird… I know, it does. But at this point I don’t really care.

Last night, he begged me not to
cry, and told me he was gonna be fine. I told him that I had heard that before,
and the whole thing sent me into tears again. I cried myself to sleep last night,
and woke up with my face looking like the BP Oil Spill because of the makeup I
had not bothered to take off. When I got on the bus I texted Michael,
asking him how he was feeling and he said he wasn’t sure. Then he
said that I shouldn’t be afraid and that he should. He also made it a
little worse by saying that he keeps thinking that the worst possible thing is
going to happen. I tried not to cry on the bus by playing some upbeat
happy music, yet I cracked when I walked into the school building and my friend
was there to greet me. I showed her the text saying what might
be wrong with him, and she stared, wide eyed and in shock. I
immediately fell apart. At least they were all there to comfort me and just let
me cry for a little bit.

Something that honestly makes me
a little mad is how he keeps telling me not to worry, and that it will all be
okay. We don’t know what is going to happen. He doesn’t know what the outcome
will me. Even if we pray, beg, or something like that, sometimes it just
doesn’t turn out the way we want. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should stop
worrying. I mean, in the wise words of my friend, he needs me more than ever.
If I can’t stay strong, how can he?

Michael’s a strong person. I’m
sure he can overcome this. All I can do is stay hopeful and be there for him
when he needs me.

Love,

TheMissMimsi

Finding Myself Again…

I don’t really know if anyone reads this blog, or really cares about
it in the first place. All I know is that this blog gives me a place to say
things I am usually too afraid to say on my Facebook, for fear of people
judging or disowning me. You’d be surprised how fast someone can change when
they find out you don’t think the same as them. This next post of mine is going
to cover an important time in my life. Ok..I guess I’ll start now..

Last night I was so very confused
about a ton of things. What set me off was my relationship with my friend,
Michael. We say we like each other, and he says that if he was single he would
ask me to be his girlfriend. The thing that pisses me off about it is that his
boyfriend (if that’s what you call it) lives in Arizona and never met my dear
friend. On Saturday I did something I swore I would never do. I cheated on my
now ex boyfriend, Mike (What’s up with me and Mikes?? o.o) Michael and I
went to the mall on Saturday and just the company of each other after telling
each other how we feel set us off. We ended up kissing each other for a few
minutes, even going as far as me biting him on the neck, on the lip… Please,
don’t judge me for cheating. And don’t judge me for being into the whole biting
thing (cause I can get much worse than that) The reason I can judge
Michael’s relationship with Arizonian boy is that my ex, Mike, lived in Jersey
and I found out he had been lying to me about a lot. I know a lot of people who
have been in long distance relationships. Needless to say, they never worked
out..

The incident above just got much
worse when I told my now ex what I did. I broke up with him, and immediately
the status posts and rumors started. To clarify what was ACTUALLY going on
versus what he was lying about, I was posting statuses about the situation. I
NEVER used his name or said anything bad about him. I am not under any
circumstances condoning cheating on him, but surely I don’t deserve this type
of treatment. I was more mad about what he was saying about me rather than
actually being mad about the breakup. He even went as far as to say that my ex
boyfriend, Nick, was right. Don’t even get me started on Nick, because I can
write 50,000,000 posts about all the trouble he caused me, and is still causing
me.

Well, I blocked him. He can’t
really say anything about me anymore or else it means that he just can’t let go
of the situation. He tried to get to me by telling me that he was in Lancaster
the day I cheated on him and didn’t tell me about it because he thought I was
annoying. Yeah, I’m gonna care about that after I just dumped him, right?
WRONG! I’m done caring about what people think of me.

The thing that is worse about the
thing with me and Michael is that even after all that happened, we aren’t
together. He said he wants to stay with his current boyfriend because this guy
is “nice” and “he doesn’t want to mess it up with him”. So I guess giving me a
kiss that I will never forget, one of the best, most passionate, emotion filled
kisses I have ever had doesn’t mean anything to him. I’ve never felt that way
before, and not to seem slutty but I have kissed more than a couple people. I
guess I’ll have to wait it out. I just hope nobody judges me about it. I’m
always the girl who waits around for a guy or girl. I even made up a line,
“Everybody kisses her, but nobody misses her”. That’s how I feel. I think I
made a mistake when I told Michael that I think I am in love with him.

There are very few people in my
life who have an opinion that means anything to me, I may add. This brings me
to my next section… finding out what has been wrong with me for the past few
years…

For some reason, last night I
just could not stop crying. I felt so upset, down, low and I wanted to know
why. What I did was put on my iPod and from listening to a few choice songs,
Alone I Break by Korn, The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars, Poem by Taproot and the
Otep album House of Secrets. I started to realize throughout this listening
process what the problem was. It wasn’t other people. It wasn’t even me. It was
just how I dealt with things.

I believe my problem comes from
low self esteem, which stereotypically comes from grief and trauma such as

-Parents with an unclean divorce

-Seeing my grandma die (yes, I
SAW it)

-Feeling stuck in the middle of
things that aren’t my control

-Not being able to fix every
problem around me

-Dad calling me fat, ugly, etc.

and much more. I think that from
having these issues, I started to blame myself for everything that went wrong.
I felt that if a friend of mine was in distress, I had to help them. Since the
teen years are never easy, and lots of people dump their problems on me, I
started to get distracted and not help my own problems. Over the years, my
problems grew and swelled and so did the complaints of my friends. I feel like
since I don’t like myself, I have to make other people like me to replace those
feelings of dislike that I feel for myself. This in turn makes me go along with
almost everything asked of me, and it’s gotten me in some trouble. I’ve been
used, neglected, ignored, all while someone claimed they love me. I felt like
the key to being happy with myself was to have someone love me as a friend, or
more. Yes, I know. I sound hopeless, I sound worthless in this post. I sound
like just another teenage complaining about my life. I guess you’re right with
that one. I honestly DO complain too much, I DO sit there in my pity and not
try and help it, I guess I just started to not care after a while. You can only
change yourself if you try. Over the past years I haven’t really been trying
all that much to get better. I’ve rejected therapists, I’ve shunned friends,
I’ve pushed people away. I understand now that I’m doing nothing but hurting
myself. I guess… I’m finally growing up.. You’d think I would be by now, but I
guess not. I can say that last night I almost made myself sick from the crying.
I cried and cried until everything was just streaks of light. I sobbed until my
throat hurt and I felt like I was going to be sick. After I was done crying, I
felt so much better. I can’t tell you why I cried like this. I honestly don’t
have any clue why. It seems as if every time I hit a huge milestone in my life
I have a good cry like this.

Well, here’s the 1,000 word jist
of what happened last night. I can’t really make you feel what I did. Gosh, I
would not hope that on anyone. I just hope that maybe you’ll understand me a
little better. I wish I wasn’t like this, but I guess it’s all part of self
discovery.

And I did it all without Jesus.

❤ TheMissMimsi